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Tuesday, April 17, 2018

breaking the body in...


At times I thought we'd never make it
And all that ever took was patience"
- Joey BadA$$                                           

It amazes me how time can alter my mental. Ten years ago, I sat alone as tears streamed down my face. My eyes blankly fixated on the chipped paint along state highway 60.  I could not walk. Within 24 hours, I had successfully removed the epidermis and part of the dermis layer along both of my heels. How was I suppose to cover the remaining 2,150 miles to Katahdin before October 15?  I didn't.  It was devastating. 




For as long as I can remember, my father would hoist me on his back and we'd meander along the ridge of mountains that appear blue outside of the Mecklenburg area. He introduced me to the trail that connected the aged hills of Georgia to the equally weathered hills of Maine at a very young age. By high school, I had decided that I wanted to walk the entire trail in one season: a thru hike. I purchased the maps and guides and started saving money.  It had become a life goal. 



In 2008, I failed at that life goal. I had suffered both physical and mental damage. My first "death of a vision" as my mom would later describe it. Retrospectively, it was determined that my over-sized socks were the root cause of the events leading to that roadside meltdown at Woody Gap. In addition, I lacked sufficient first aid supplies while I was on trail to mediate the damage. Lastly, and most importantly, I didn't listen to my body.  

Time continued forward while I licked both my physical and mental wounds. I grew stronger with each passing day.  I set out again the following year to complete one of my life goals.  As my feet negotiated the snow-covered trail, I meandered along with a pack that contained an extensive first-aid kit and socks that fit.  Above all, I listened to my body regardless of what my mind wanted to do. Two hundred and two days later, I successfully reached Katahdin.  Thru-hiking the trail provided me with valuable lessons that I still adhere to some 9 years later. 

For the past three seasons, I begin venturing up to the Green for conditioning in January. Traditionally, the guide season begins in April with the consumption of tasty mayflies that are blue-winged and olive. By arriving in January, I am not seeking preferential treatment within my company as some may argue. Instead, I am continuing to listen to my body: a lesson I learned while hiking the trail.  




The role of a Green river guide is both mental and physically challenging. These fish are well educated. Presentation is key in order to fool a fish on the Green.  If the perfect drift is not obtained, the chances of a fish head-shaking the end of the line is greatly reduced. My ability to row a drift is just as important as the individual managing the line from my boat.  We basically work as a team in an effort to fool a fish.  Let's add in some wind...oops..."w", a sprinkle of mass, and the ever present river current.  Now, rowing the drift can become quite taxing on the body. In order to prevent body failure, I gradually ease my body back to the ways of the Green river starting in January. 






The aches and pains still show themselves, but I quiet them with my best friend, naproxen, hot showers, and my foam roller. By using this approach, my body has been willing to cooperate by the time April arrives.  No riverside meltdowns. No devastation. 




Friday, April 13, 2018

cafeteria conversations...

We were sitting in the cafeteria reminiscing on our childhood memories.  I had known her since junior high and considered her a free spirit without a single negative vibe.  She had recently transferred to the same college I was attending. A friend of mine asked to join our table amid our conversation. I would not consider him as close as she, but I had recently spent a considerable amount of time with him in class. He was completing the same program as myself: a B.A. in Christian Ministries. After casual introductions, he looked directly at her and without hesitation asked, "Are you a Christian?!"

I knew the answer.

"No," she replied. She immediately gathered her belongings and left.

A year later, I completed my B.A. in Christian Ministries as well as a B.S. in Biology.  I had every intention of pursuing a career path in bi-vocational ministries. It never happened. That cafeteria conversation had left me disenchanted with organized religion. I was not okay with beating complete strangers over the head with the translated words from an ancient text.  I wanted to lead by example. I wanted to send the message of religion through love and acceptance... not of judgement.

Fourteen years later...  I find myself floating down the river Green.

Fly-fishing, for me, is an escape... an excuse to remain outdoors in the peacefulness of the wilderness. To connect with the flow of the water and the soft breeze on my face.  To be lulled by the melody of the nearby songbird while the sun warms my skin. To lose myself in that moment.  It's not a place for judgement.

And yet, cafeteria conversations continue...

Oh, that fish doesn't count because it was caught using...
That method of fly-fishing is okay to use on the Provo, but should not be allowed on the Green...
Using (insert part of a rig) isn't fly-fishing...


Recently, I arrived at lunch on a multi-boat float trip. It had been a great morning full of laughs, instruction, stories, and smiles all the while dancing with fish.  My stomach began to knot, however, as I was promptly informed by an occupant from the other boat that my morning experience was "not fly-fishing".  Did I just arrive at yet another cafeteria conversation? I had just spent several hours with complete strangers laughing, playing fish, and just enjoying the moment. They were happy. I was happy.  Is that not what it's all about?

After a quiet pause, I smiled, and replied, "if that's what you want to call it".

The remainder of the day was filled with laughs, smiles, and, you guessed it, fish being played on the end of their fly rods.  They had an incredible day of fly-fishing!

My goal as a guide is not to judge, but to offer encouragement and to support the enjoyment of the occupants of my boat regardless of their skill sets, gender, or age.  If you want to find enjoyment by stalking that one beak breaking the surface of the water, I will support you.  If you want to try a new method of fishing using a sink tip and an unfamiliar streamer, I will support you. If you want to sit back, light up a cigar, and take in the moment, I will support you.  If you are brand new to reading water and fooling fish, I will support you. If you want to try some flies you recently tied, I will support you. If you want to anchor up on the side of the river to enjoy some freshly baked bread with a cup of coffee, I will support you.

I will not judge. 




Fourteen years later...  I'm still disenchanted with organized religion. In all honesty, I don't want to develop these feelings toward guiding or the fly-fishing community as a whole.

The cafeteria conversations need to end.



Tuesday, April 3, 2018

my girlfriend could cast better...

The 2018 season is in full swing up on the Green. Not only have enthusiastic people returned to fool fish using metal, but guides have also begun the migration.  I'm reminded of family reunions... televised baseball, alcoholic beverages, and smiles reaching from one ear to the other. It's an opportunity for us to catch up on experiences that have occurred since we last dipped oars in pursuit of scaly creatures. 

In one recent gathering, a young guide was sharing a story to the rest of the group.  Maybe it was the warm weather or rowing in the consistent tailwind throughout the 15 mile float earlier in the day that caused me to focus on one particular sentence in his story. He told a fellow caster that his girlfriend could cast better.  Was this meant to be an insult? Furthermore, why does it matter what type of sex chromosomes are found within the cells of an organism managing line to fool a fish? The fish don't care what chromosomes are involved. Fish only care about the fly presentation. 

I share this story not for sympathy, but for awareness. The current administration has done a fantastic job igniting people to act to stop the spread of hate and injustice. The #metoo movement, for example, has brought widespread awareness that people, both women AND men, have suffered from sexual assault in and out of the workplace. This movement has since expanded to include marginalized people in marginalized communities. 

Back to the Green... there is still a stigma attached to women within the fly-fishing community.  Women don't have the intelligence required to identify an insect, read water, or, heaven forbid, row a boat. These thoughts are not isolated to just the public, but within the guide services as well. Why else would someone remark that his girlfriend could cast better?

Fly Fishing Expos are an excellent way to socialize, network, and support this small community. These expos will sometimes offer a casting competition for cash prizes.  Generally speaking, the men's division typically has higher cash prizes compared to the women's division in casting competitions.  Why is that?  The accuracy of fly placement and distance is the same regardless of who is holding the rod.  

I'd like to end this post on a positive note.  The upcoming Wasatch Intermountain Fly Tying and Fly Fishing Expo held in Sandy, UT is unique in that it provides the same cash prizes for both the men's and women's divisions in the casting competition.  Hopefully, more of these mental barriers will continue to be demolished.  The community of people that enjoy fooling fish need to support each other on and off the water regardless of the sex chromosomes residing in their individual cells. 

I'll continue to break these barriers one float at a time.